How Marvel Should (or Shouldn't) Bring Synch Back
By Jen Reed
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None of these characters are mine, in fact a lot of this stuff isn't mine, just the stupid concept.

Please don't take this too seriously, it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. The original concept was just to bring Everett back and to make fun of how writers bring characters back. It was meant to mock the way comics are sometimes written, and to make fun of certain writers... Well, *A* certain writer, anyway. I won't name any names. It's just meant to be strange, and maybe a little funny, but above all strange. It's just a strange, esoteric and stupid story. In short, it's fluff.

How Marvel Should (or Shouldn't) Bring Synch Back

"Oh shi..."

Black. Everett Thomas finds himself in total darkness. He can't feel his body, his thoughts, anything. "Oh god, I must be..."


"A bright light? I _must_ be dead!" Everett starts to mone, he's traveling towards the light, he was going to heaven... Quickly gathering his composure, he starts to look back on his life, and death: how young he was, everything he's missed out on, and everyone he's leaving behind. And how that team'll probably self-destruct with him not there. About his family, his teammates, Jubilee, Monet... "Ah, Monet, at least I got to nail Monet." Everett would have smiled, except he couldn't feel that he had a mouth. "My GOD! so _that's_ why Jono was so moody!" As he moved towards the light, he let his mind race, "At least I'm going to heaven, at least it was me, and not someone else, at least..." It was no use, he couldn't help feeling bad about the situation.

A long strange trip, man.

"I wonder how long this trip's supposed to last? Feels like I've been hoverin' for hours. Everett had long ago reached the light, he was now in a bright tunnel-like thing, with beautiful streaks of pastel light that looked as if they had been put there by the gentle hand of a painter. As he floated serenely in the glorious tube to heaven, he honestly got a little impatient, and his mind started entertaining some rather bizarre thoughts. "I wonder if I'll meet anyone I know up there?" He let in warm memories of his dead Uncle and his childhood dog, Boinker, and of the seamonkies his mother accidentally poured down the drain. "I wonder if I'll meet anyone famous up there? I wonder if they have there own, private area of heaven? I wonder if they allow drinking?" As he pondered these questions, he realised he hadn't noticed he was approaching the end of the tunnel. It was a bright contrast to his current surroundings. Whereas the tube had soft, creamy off-whites and pastels, the bright spot ahead was made up of swirling fuchsia and yellows, among other things. "This's definitely going to interesting".

As he entered the bright area that looked like one of Jubilee's shirts, he felt a little confused, it was much more spacious than the tunnel before, and of course there was that, uh, _vivid_ colour, but, it was still a tunnel. As he moved through the swirl of psychedelic colours that reminded him of "Austin Powers", he heard some soft music, it was recognisable, but he couldn't place it. Then everything started to fade, not an easy thing to convince himself of, considering the brightness of the colours, but slowly, they did.

"Heaven, I'm in heaven..."


Everett slowly regained conciousness, and the world around him slowly came into view. It didn't _look_ like heaven, or at least not from what he had heard. It was a huge, metallic room, with people in lab coats racing around, speaking a foreign language. He looked around, watching the people run from computer monitor to computer monitor, talking, and eating what appeared to be... Krispy Kremes?!? "Where _AM_ I?!?"

Before he even realised he had said that out loud, every head turned to look at him, someone shouted, and the others soon followed.

Things were even more frantic now, as people began running _everywhere_. In and out of the large room, tirelessly typing things into computers, running all around, and shouting. Then a lanky-looking man in a white lab coat walked over to him jauntily. He was in his mid-thirties, maybe a little older, with messy brown hair, and a wry smile on his face.

"Hello, Mr. Thomas." the man said sincerely. He was fidgeting a bit, shifting his weight quickly from one foot to the other, smiling all the while.

Everett looked up at the man, confused. "Are you god?", he asked earnestly, his voice weak as a kitten.

The man chuckled, "Oh no, of course not Mr. Thomas. I'm Dr. Frances Hunter."

Everett looked up, and... "Wait, why am I looking up? I'm standing, and..." Everett looked down at his body, and saw... Fur. Lots of fur, orange and white fur. And paws, and a tail. "I'm a cat!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "Now Everett, calm down, there's a very good explanation..." Dr. Hunter began, trying to sound reassuring. But Everett couldn't hear him, "I'm a cat! A CAT! A FRIGGIN' CAAAAAAT!" he cried. "Now now, Everett, calm down, everything'll be all right if you just calm down" Dr. Hunter said. It was lost on Everett. "I'm a cat, I'm a cat..."

Dr. Hunter looked over his shoulder, located someone and told them to "Go get a tranquilizer. Now."

Everett was so preoccupied with his feline body that he didn't even notice the rather large needle being stuck in him.

"Okay, Everett, everything's going to be okay..."

What’s new, pussycat?

"Where am I?"

Everett slowly awoke to a cold, sterile-looking hospital room. Off to one side was a group of lab coats, writing frantically on clipboards and whispering among each other.

"You’re in a hospital." a kind, slightly enthusiastic voice replied.

"I know that voice" Ev thought to himself. He turned his head in the direction of the voice. Dr. Hunter, damn. He looked down at his body. Furry. With a sigh, he looked at Dr. Hunter and asked him to be more specific. "Hmm? More specific?... Oh, oh! more specific, of course, you’re... Uh, you’re..." His smile faded, and he looked a little nervous. He slowly stood up, turned around and walked over to one of the people standing in the corner. "Could you get another tranquilizer? Just in case." He whispered to the young woman, who nodded and quickly walked out of the room. Dr. Hunter sighed, turned around, and with a look of dread and worry on his face, began to explain Ev's situation. "Mr. Thomas, you were in an accident... And you, uh, died. Sort of."

Everett looked away in shock. But was quickly overtaken by anger. "I died? I _died_?! What is this?! What happened to me?! Why am I a cat?! Where am I?!"

The young woman who had by now returned motioned toward him with the tranquilizer. "No" Dr. Hunter said in a stern tone. "Everett, may I call you that?" Ev nodded shakily. "Everett, you were in an accident, your body died in that accident, but you're not really dead..." Hunter said an amiable tone, "Or at least, your mind isn't." Ev just looked at him. At least he wasn't dead. But where was he? What had happened? He tried to regain his composure, and looked up Dr. Hunter. "Dr., Hunter, right?" Hunter nodded politely, "Dr. Hunter, what, what, where..." Overwhelmed and not knowing what to ask first, he trailed off. "Everett," Dr. Hunter said softly, "Before you died, we transported you consciousness here, to save you."

"Why?" Ev asked earnestly, but without the weak, kittenish tone.

Hunter sighed, then smiled. "Everett, you have tremendous potential, and your a good kid, we didn't want to see you die."

Everett shot him a slightly confused look, "'We'? Who is 'we'?"

Hunter let out an even bigger sigh, paused for a moment, then spoke, "Everett, 'we' are a group of people, who a very long time ago struck out on our own to see if we could find, or build, a better life." he stopped and looked at the wall pensively, "And to fulfill a dream."

Hunter let his gaze fall on Everett, and after a long and awkward silence, spoke again. "Maybe I should be more specific, a long time ago... Well, not that long ago, actually, about 30 years by earth time, a group of people built a ship that could travel through space, and to different dimensions." He stopped, leaned forward, looking at Everett and expecting him to be shocked by all of it. "Of course he won't be shocked," Hunter thought to himself, "he was a member of Generation X."

For Everett, it was all sinking in. He was alive. He was in a cat's body, he didn't know where he was, and despite Dr. Hunter's best attempts at an explanation, he didn't quite know who these people were, but he was _alive_. That fact was so intoxicating that he didn't even notice Dr. Hunter's long silence, or that the people in the corner had left.

"'Ey, Frankie, how's it coming in there?" A young woman poked her head through the door, then stepped in. She had medium-length light brown hair, with blue streaks in it. She was tall, but her build was impossible to determine because of the baggy jeans and oversized shirt she wore. Her voice was upbeat.

"ELSIE! Thank GOD!" Dr. Hunter said as he sat up and rushed over to her. "Here, Elsie, YOU can answer his questions" He grabbed her by the shoulders and guided her over to Ev's Bedside. "Everett Thomas, this is my assistant, Elsie Nelson. Else, this is Everett Thomas." With that, he turned and tried to run out the door. Elsie grabbed his arm before he could. "Frankie, I can't. He's a housecat" she whispered, then turned to eye Everett with look of dread. "You'll be fine, Elsie." Hunter said reassuringly, although a little anxiously, then motioned to leave. "Frankie, please." Elsie begged. Hunter sighed, "Alright, alright, I'll do it, but not alone. You're gonna help me with this." Elsie nodded reluctantly.

Dr. Hunter walked back over to Everett. Elsie stood where she was, eyeing Ev. "Elsie" Hunter said, urging her to approach. Elsie continued to stare. "Elsie", Hunter repeated. Elsie's eyes temporarily shifted to Dr. Hunter. "ELSIE!" Dr. Hunter shouted. She quickly snapped out of it, walked over, pulled up a chair, and seated herself next to Hunter.

"*Sigh*, now, where were we?" Dr. Hunter said, struggling to regain his composure. Ev thought for a moment, "Who you people are" he said, unintentionally short. "Oh, yes. As I said, a long time ago...There were a group of people, back on Earth in the seventies or eighties." Hunter was slowly regaining the kind, although slightly condescending tone in his voice from before, "They, built a ship, as I stated before. They, ah..." he turned to look at Elsie, who up until now had been straddling her chair looking at the floor and nodding. "Elsie?" he asked, almost pleading. Her head shot up, "Uh, uh, ah shit, yeah, okay! Um... Long story short, ah..." she cleared her throat and finally looked at Everett, then sighed. "They founded this place. They jumped dimensions, found this solar system, stopped at a planet and founded our people." Hunter laughed to himself. Good old Elsie, she was shy, but always concise once she got going. "And, uh, well here we are." Elsie turned to Hunter, "Frankie?" Hunter turned to see Elsie looking at him with big, pleading eyes. "Frankie?" she whispered, her voice weak. "Oh, yes. Uh, Anything else, Everett?" Dr. Hunter turned to Everett, expecting him to be shocked by all this.

"Yeah, why am I a cat?" Everett asked calmly.

"*Sigh*, well..." Hunter began. Everett didn't seem too disturbed by all this. "That won't last long", Hunter thought.

3, 2, 1...

"So you needed a place to put my mind? And it's only temporary, so I shouldn't worry?"

Everett's query came between bites of sausage pizza. "This engineered cat body is actualy pretty cool" Everett thought, "I can talk, and I have opposable thumbs"

Frances Hunter looked up from his chicken sandwich, Everett had cheered up since he found out the cat body was only temporary. "Yes, it's only temporary. Like I said before we're growing you a new body, it'll be just like your old one" Frances said with a smile. He glanced over at Elsie, who was picking at her sandwich absently, and looking around the cafeteria.

"So when can I get out of this cat body?" Everett asked, while grabbing his another slice of pizza. Elsie looked up at him, then gave him a slightly disgusted look as he began scarfing it down as though he hadn't eaten in days. "Three days" she replied warmly. She couldn't hold it against him, he had thought he was dead, and was never going to see his friends again. She would've been happy, too.

Everett took a sip of coke-cola. "Three days?" he asked, with a slightly depressed expression, then shrugged. "Oh well, I should be glad I'm alive and not stuck as a cat." he thought to himself, and took another bite of pizza.

"Elsie, maybe when we're done, you can show Everett around?" Frances asked. Elsie looked up at him, then at Everett. She was still a little shy, but was warming up. "Uh, yeah, okay. What should I show him?" Elsie asked. "Around the hospital?"

Frances took the last bite from his sandwich. "No, of course not. Not unless he wants to. I meant around the city."

Ev looked up, with a mixture of amusement and worry. "City? An oversized, talking cat with opposable thumbs walking around a city?"

"Of course, Everett. You two can go off, eat, shop, whatever. And Elsie can answer any other questions you might have." Frances said with a smile. Ev looked a little skeptical, "You’re going to be in that cat body for three more days." Frances added "You might as well try to enjoy yourself".

"Frankie, can I talk to you in private?" Elsie asked softly. "Yes, of course" Frances replied, a little worried. "Will you excuse us?" Ev nodded. They got up and walked to a wall.

"Frankie!" Elsie whined, trying to whisper. Ev's ears perked up, and swiveled in Frances and Elsie's direction, He could hear them perfectly. "Frankie, I can't..." Elsie began. "Yes you can, Elsie. Please, I need you to do this. I have to do some work back at the lab. And besides, Else, the boy's been through a lot. He could use some down time". Elsie just stared at him. Frances continued, "Just think of it as a day off."

All of a sudden Elsie got a look of fear on her face. "Frankie? Didn't we give that cat body super-hearing?" They both looked at Ev nervously. He was finishing his coke, and his one ear was turned in their direction. Frances smiled nervously.

They walked back to Everett and sat down. Ev eyed them, waiting for one of them to break the silence. Elsie smiled reluctantly, "Well, Everett, I guess you get the grand tour of the city!" she said over enthusiastically. "Elsie, if you don't want to do it..." Ev began. "No, of course I do. Besides, it'll do me good to get out of the lab" she said with a forced smile. "And away from science, and my work..." she added pensively. "Are you sure?" Everett asked. She looked him right in the face, "No, Everett. It'll be fun. You can tell me about earth." she smiled sincerely this time. "Then it's settled!" Frances said, "You two go off and see the city and leave me behind to work" he said jokingly. Ev laughed.

"Right" Elsie added, with another forced smile.

The Staunton Lick

Elsie and Ev, the giant, talking cat walked along the streets of the city. The city itself was cross between New York and the Jetsons.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Ev finally spoke up. "So, what do you do around here for fun?"

Elsie whipped her head around to look at Everett, "Uh, well, a lot of the things you do on Earth, or so I've heard."

Desperate to make conversation, Ev continued, "Like what?"

Elsie thought for a moment, "We get Earth cable" she replied tentatively. Ev looked at her, a little surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah, and we don't have to pay" She said, much more confidently. "Huh" Ev replied.

After a long silence, Elsie finally attempted conversation. "We also have file sharing. Legally" "Really?" Ev asked, desperately trying to sound interested. "Yeah".

Another silence.


"Do you like Lemon Jelly?" Elsie asked.

Ev shot her a confused look, "I... I don't think I've ever had it..."

Elsie laughed, "No, Lemon Jelly is a band. I love them."

"Ah" Everett said. That's good, She's talking. Conversation was good. "What are they like?"

Elsie opened her mouth, then shut it. She look a little lost, "They're... They're... Good?"

"Crap" Everett thought, there goes any hope of a conversation today.

"You'd really have to hear them, I've never been any good at explaining things like that." Elsie said out of nowhere, "They're an Earth band, I've always been fascinated by Earth..." She stopped. She looked a little embarrassed. Ev looked at her, "Go on"

"Well..." she started happily, "I..." she looked at him, and all of a sudden, he was a housecat. She froze, her mind a blank. "Uh..." she started. "What was the subject? What were we talking about?" she thought to herself, "Lemon Jel... No, it was, it was... Earth!"


"Well I've always been interested in Earth, ever since I was a little girl. They make you learn about it here in school, it's part of history, since our founders came from there" she said sweetly.

Friendly Conversation

After a day of talking, seeing the sights, and a little window shopping, Elsie Nelson and Everett Thomas came back to the lab. Frances came walking towards them with his typical smile and enthusiasm. "Elsie! Everett! Your back! Good, I thought you'd been mugged or something" he forced a joke, he was obviously tired. He turned to Everett, "Everett, you'll stay in the temp rooms. Jared here will show you there." Man sitting at a nearby computer sighed, got up, and walked over. "Come on puss, time for bed."

Day Two: One More to Go

Everett awoke to the neutral colours of temp. room #1270. He looked around his room: a couch, television, and a large window. He slowly pulled himself out of bed and lazily walked over to the window. Carefully pulling back the curtains, he saw a breathtaking view of... Another building. He looked around, until his eyes fell on the walkway below. People in white lab coats running from here to there, talking, using strange, alien forms of transportation, riding bicycles. Ev shook his head, slightly overwhelmed by the strangeness of it all. "Not too long ago, I thought I was dead" he thought to himself, "Now I'm here. On a strange planet in another dimension, surrounded by things that are familiar and things that are totally alien." He sighed, then turned and walked over to the the foot of the bed. He picked up the remote, turned on the TV, and thought about his current situation. "They said they'd send me back home. Maybe everything'll get back to normal then..."

Home. Everett let the warm memories of his friends and family come back to him. He Flipped through the channels, fiddled with the buttons, and finally stopped at an english-language news show. "And now in business news..." the anchorwoman began. Everett sighed, then it hit him.

"Why are these people doing this?" He sat there, wondering for a moment, then thought back. "Frances had said that it was because I had 'tremendous potential', I think..." Ev had a worried expression on his face, "And because I'm a 'good kid'" Ev sighed. It sounded good at the time, but now... "That's it" he thought to himself, "I'll just have to be careful" a satisfied look swept over his face, but quickly faded "What am I gonna do if they _are_ dangerous, anyway? And what about when they try to send me back to Earth? Should I take that risk? Should I refuse?" the idea of being stuck here, of never going home, and of never seeing his friends again made him grimace. "No, I have to take that chance."

He thought for awhile, then came to the conclusion that he couldn't think anymore on an empty stomach, and left to go to the cafeteria.

A Foreign Cafeteria

"I never thought cafeteria food could taste so good"

Everett piled miscellaneous things from his tray into his mouth, he was trying to seem friendly, despite his suspicions. Frances smiled at him, barely touching his weird fruit-thingy. "Yes, well, certain things _are_ different here, Everett"

Everett piled exorbitant amounts of food in his mouth before finally speaking, "Hey Frances, Elsie said you guys get Earth cable, ever see Animal House?" he raised his hands to his cheeks threateningly. "YES!!" Frances shouted, leaning back expecting a spray of half-chewed cafeteria food. Everett just smiled and took a sip of his drink. Frances leaned forward, laughing and smiling in relief.

After a few moments of silence, Frances finally spoke, "By the way, Elsie asked me if you could leave the building today" he said somewhat flatly. "We don't have that much planned for you today, so if you'd like to get out and see more of the city, feel free to go" Everett shrugged, "Yeah, sure." Frances smiled. "I'll tell her"

Everett started to eat again, then stopped. "Oh crap" he thought to himself, "She couldn't like me... No, of course not. I'm in a cat's body, she couldn't possibly... But she had been awfully nice yesterday..." he stopped when she walked in. "Hi Frankie, Everett" she gave Everett a smile. Crap.

One Uncomfortable Day

Everett desperately tried to think of light conversation and things to occupy his mind. He didn't want to think of the girl accompanying him.

Elsie was looking out on the water. They had decided to see more of the local attractions, so they took a cheap boat ride down some river. To avoid thinking about Elsie, Ev decided to worry himself with whether or not these people could be trusted. "Why are they doing this?" he thought to himself, "Why..."

"Your being awfull quiet, Everett." Elsie said. Everett shot up in his seat. Nervous, he had a deep feeling of wanting to leave. "Uh, just taking in the scenery" he said. She smiled and nodded, then went back to looking at whatever it was she was looking at. Right now listening to Jubilee on a sugar high sounded enticing. This was going to the longest day of his life.

A Day Later

Everett awoke to a terrible headache. In fact, most of him hurt in a similar way. Through the tremendous pain, he managed to form a thought, he remembered something, why he was in a hospital bed.

Everett Thomas was whole again.

With that he shot up in bed. "I'm me..." He threw back the covers and looked at his body. Everything was there, it was him. He wasn't a cat anymore! He jumped up out of bed and surveyed the room, there was mirror on the wall. He hurried over to it, and looked in awe at the beautiful thing he saw. He indulged in a few narcissistic thoughts then ran out of the room.

Sprinting down the hallways and shouting at the top of his lungs, he didn't even notice that lab coat...


"Mr. Thomas!" the man said shakily.

"I'm sorry I..." Everett's mind jerked back to reality, and all his suspicions came back. "Mr. Thomas, you’re awake, good. Dr. Hunter wants to talk to you." the man said in a strangely cheerful tone. "Uh, yeah. Yes. Could you point me to him, then?" Everett said. "Of course, follow me" the man said.

Some Time Later

"Everett, now that you’re obviously are in good enough condition, I'd like to talk to you about going back to Earth..."

That's exactly what Everett wanted to hear. Going back home and getting _far_ away from this creepy place. "Good, when can I leave?"

Dr. Hunter laughed. "Everett, that's what I'm here to talk to you about..." Everett got a little nervous, "We always give people the option of staying" Hunter continued.

'People'? Ev thought. There were others? He wasn't going to ask. He just wanted to get out of here. "No, Frances. I want ou... I want to return home as soon as possible. I want to see my friends." Ev smiled a nervous smile, and Hunter returned a sincere one. "Oh, well then. You can leave this afternoon, if you like." he said.

With a massive sigh of relief, Everett said "I'll take it."

Going Home

Everett was so happy, he could cry. This had, by far, been THE strangest three days he could remember. As he was lead to the machine that would send him back to Earth and his friends, he thought about them. All of them. About Earth, about how much he missed it, and about getting away from this weird place. "Nothing makes you miss home quite like this place" he thought to himself. His smile grew wider.

"Mr. Thomas?" someone asked. "Yeah?" Ev answered dreamily. "It's time" the man said, and motioned behind Ev. Everett turned around and looked at a strange-looking machine with wires coming out of it. It was smooth metal, and had two computer monitors over a control panel. Dr. Hunter and Elsie were standing beside it.

Everett walked up to them. "Your going home now, Everett." Frances said with a smile. "You don't have to do anything, we'll take care of it all." he sighed. "Goodbye, Everett. It was a pleasure knowing you." Hunter reached out his hand, "Maybe we'll meet again someday."

Everett shook his hand. "Maybe we will, goodbye" he said politely. "I just hope it's not here" he thought.

Dr. Frances Hunter walked over to the control panel and started pressing some of the buttons. Everett walked over to Elsie. "Goodbye, Elsie." he said politely, though a little nervously. "Goodbye, Everett." she smiled. "Let me help you in" she motioned for him to get in the chamber.

He climbed in, and Elsie showed him how to strap himself in. When everything was done, she leaned back, then sighed. "Goodbye, Everett. It was a pleasure." she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, then closed the door.

Everett listened as the machine started to hum. He was a little scared, but he had no other choice, he wasn't going to stay here. He just thought of home, and waited.

The machine started to shake. Then a small nozzle came out the side of the chamber, and pumped a blue mist into it. He started to get drowsy, and suddenly the room reminded him of a gas chamber. He started to panic, trying to think of what to do, but before he could think of anything, he blacked out.


Everett woke up in the chamber, still groggy. He could barely move his body.

"You have reached your destination, Mr. Thomas" an unfamiliar and rather harsh sounding voice said out of nowhere. With that, the door to the chamber swung open, and light poured into the tiny room. Bright, beautiful Earth light.

Ev's eyes filled with tears.


Bad, I know. But it was my first attempt at fanfic.

P.S., "The Staunton Lick" is a song done by Lemon Jelly.